> Introduce yourself <

I only started sharing my arts outside my country not long ago, around 2021. In my Homeland, my arts stands out because I lean heavily into indie style but it's hard to find people who like the same indie vibe. I also got tired of the local artist scene, so I isolated myself online after my old account got nuked by Facebook. I'm pretty shy talking to strangers, especially in English. I learned British English but I consume mostly American English media, so I worry people won't understand me. My English is only enough for basic communication. Sometimes I use AI translators, but never use for translating my comics work because AI translating too many wrong words and I'm too lazy to fix them. These days I'm not very interested in the internet anymore, so I might respond slowly. But you can be my friend if you want. I'm not used to having foreign friends (not good at talking to girl, sorry ;TwT)

> Why do you draw? <

Because I was poor... Seriously. The reason I draw is because I was poor. I didn't have enough money to buy storybooks, so I started drawing and making my own stories back in kindergarten. I loved making stories and comics for my friends and my little sister to read. I made a ton of them in sketchbooks, but I never took photos. so bad. The stories weren't anything special mostly friendship, dark themes, adventures, fandom stuff, slice of life anime style, fantasy. I was just like any beginner artist, jealous of people who drew better and got popular. That jealousy pushed me to practice a lot. I drew four to five pieces a week, almost every day, usually on paper. I think of myself as a comic creator and a character designer because I've created tons of characters and written many comics. Sadly, most of my old work got burned or lost during file transfers. I really do want to publish a bunch of my comics for you all to read ;(

> Your art style? <

I grew up with Japanese culture everywhere kids' anime, manga, music, merch it was all super accessible. That made me love drawing anime, but honestly, it's hard as hell. Anatomy, lighting, backgrounds… everything is a struggle. I only got into Western art culture seriously in high school because the style felt easier and didn't pressure me to be insanely good like other people. It let me just be myself and have my own style. Once I found a style I liked, I stopped stressing so much about drawing. You might notice my line art changing a lot most of the time I'm just doodling for fun I'm not super serious about my work so I don't get too precious with it.

> What are you into? <

When I was a kid I liked watching anime on TV But watching anime all the time got boring. The stories weren't that different from each other harems/ school slice of life/ shounen/ magical girls. And the anime fandom felt creep sometimes because so many otaku only talked about sexual stuff with female or child characters. So I got into Western cartoons more. The stories felt fresh, the characters were memorable, they didn't focus on sexual too much and anyone could enjoy them even if they were adult cartoons. I really love indie games because they're easier to access and the appeal comes from the fandom more than marketing especially games with strange worlds like "Hylics", "LISA", "Wadanohara" , "OFF" , "Lilly's Well"... But those weren't actually the type of games I started with. I known what games were through Flash games. Since Flash didn't sort anything by age, I played everything mixed together. favorites games what I played had sexual content or gore like "Whack Your…", "Doodieman", "Naughty…" , "Madness Combat", "Happy Wheels"... (I was in 3rd grade then LOL.) That's why violent / gore games became my second favorite genre things like "Hotline Miami", "The Last of Us 2", "Mortal Kombat", "Postal", "Dead Island"... Just because I enjoy violent games doesn't mean I'm obsessed with violence. When I'm stressed, I explode it onto games to clear my head. I'm not a bad person. I swear if you asked people around me what I'm like, 90% of them would say I seem too nice for all this.

> Some of your arts are NSFW <

My arts or the worlds I create shift depending on my mental state. Honestly, I've drawn inappropriate stuff since elementary school, but I didn't upload it because I didn't want my online friends to feel uncomfortable. So I kept those drawings to myself or deleted them. Not violent stuff mainly sexual. Nowadays I haven't felt any sense of love or affection in a long time, so my NSFW shifted into violence or just weird strange things. You can find my violent/NSFW arts in the CODE Zone. The weird or depressing are in the Art Zone. It's okay if you don't like my NSFW arts, I'm not particularly attached to them either. I draw them so they don't stay trapped inside my head.

> About the world you create <

I really love making OCs. Every character has a little piece of me inside them. I usually create OCs from fandoms I like or OC + OC = NEW OC! I like designs that are easy to draw but I don't use my OCs for roleplay and I don't throw them into other fandoms either. Most of the time I play inside my own world. It's like taking Batman and Barbie dolls into your bedroom, then inventing new characters and new stories from scratch. I don't really care how outsiders feel about my world. It's like you're all gods watching humans play The Sims. I get a little shy knowing that people are actually interested in the world I made. I'm obsessed with it so deeply that I don't even know what people think about me anymore. I might not look excited online. sorri QwQ

> Any interests besides drawing? <

I'm into biology, deep sea creatures, surrealism art, strange and unusual games, psychological horror, Dance Dance Revolution, high school comedy or yuri anime, simulation games, fairy tales/ literature/ storybooks, melancholic/ electronic/ indie music, documentaries and fetish.

> Art evolution <

I started drawing from this eco-friendly idea. The very first story I ever wrote was about four scientists building a trash-eating robot on the moon (that was back in kindergarten). Later it shifted into family themes, medieval fantasy, adventure stuff (elementary school era). As I got older I started getting exposed to the internet anime, games, music so my art style naturally drifted toward anime. Friendship, magic, fantasy, moe. all of that I even made a manga about my OCs name "Crazycity" but the story wasn't really serious yet. When I got to middle school, I created my first real original manga. It was slice of life/ fantasy/ horror, I reused the title "Crazycity" but all the characters were completely new. Most of it was drawn in my sketchbook and I released new chapters every month for my friends to read (they didn't know what is anime or manga). Toward the end of middle school I stopped continuing "Crazycity" because I kept spending money on drawing supplies and books but never gained anything from it. I also started dealing with depression at age 13, so I had no ideas left to push the story forward. I drifted into fairy tales, folklore, and mythology. That was also when I hit my teenage years and became more interested in sexual or mature themes. My first novel was name "What Makes Me Love You?" a romance/horror story, but the plot was so bad I put it on hold. In high school I stopped drawing folklore and shifted into drawing porn comics instead, starting with "Good Morning, Scotta!" Then I rewrote "What Makes Me Love You?" into a new version called "The Lélisin'onne Family" changing the story to be darker and more serious. During the COVID-19 pandemic, when schools shifted to online learning, it was a time when I became very absorbed in the internet especially 4chan. I started to rewrite the story "Good morning, Scotta!" focusing on dark comedy, parodying various events in America, racist memes, obsessing over terrorists, glorifying real life killers trending on 4chan, and drawing gore. At that time my depression began to intensify again. Near the end of high school, I was still enjoying 4chan so I didn't know what was right or wrong when the internet of people my age or older was no different from mine so I thought this was normal. When I got to university, my depression became severe, leading me to have suicidal thoughts and frequent arguments with my parents, which made me lose interest in my reputation. I chose to leave myself from 4chan and deleted many posts on Twitter to start anew. I began writing a web comic name "The Rainy Green Man" to earn a little money. At first I had high hopes for it but when I faced family issues, political problems and didn't meet my goals, it became difficult to continue the story. I had to drop out of university to work and earn money to support the comic I continued to write. Currently, I feel empty without support, suffering from chronic depression, anxiety, health issues, financial problems, and severe family issues. This often makes me feel like I want to kms on some random day. Therefore, I haven't been focusing much on drawing and have been preoccupied with myself.

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Hi, stranger on the internet. I am now 20y (2025) I can't believe how fast time has passed. I thought I was stuck at 14. After turning 14, nothing in my life got any better. I have changed a lot now. I think back to my childhood when it was just me and the world I created. But on the other hand, I hate my younger self for believing that everything would get better if I kept my negative feelings hidden from everyone. I hate myself every day, every age, every year throughout my life. I'm surprised that so many people love me but my mind tells me to kms repeatedly and believes that everyone hates me but pretends otherwise. In this life, I have never harmed anyone except myself. Sometimes it's scary because I feel like I can kms at any moment for no reason on some day. That's why I don't want to think about the future anymore. I have no future now, I only have childhood that is embracing me. now it is becoming something weird but peaceful. I'm glad that some people like my arts, but I wish everyone would like the world I created more than me. I changing everytime. she got me now.

Alright, let's switch the mood a bit. I like exploring new things different ethnicities, gender identities, tastes, everything. It's just fun learning without politics getting in the way. So if you want me to call you by any pronouns, just tell me. I've also been trying to understand Gen Alpha internet culture Roblox, brainrot memes and the issues kids face in this AI era. On top of that, I study different psychological disorders through other people's experiences. And I'm trying to find online friends who have similar experiences or who struggle with socializing like I do.